We pretty much stayed at home this weekend. Which, honestly, is something I always welcome. The more I'm home, the more I'm available to tackle all the things in my house that scream at me for my attention. And while this blazing heat is blessing me with some time off from Sarandipity, I'm feeling more and more able to conquer my house, instead of being swallowed up by it. So, this weekend, I scrubbed half our house. It's utterly boring and tedious to talk about, and I'm certainly not going to post before and after photos (the horrors!), but it was more necessary than I realized.
I was trying to explain to Bo last night why I'm feeling so averse to watching tv or movies that are anything but Girly. I said that not only am I living in a masculine world with my 8-5 job and with my running on fumes, but that our house was in such disarray, that it didn't feel like my own. I quickly lost his attention while I tried to explain that a sense of home is so important to feeling feminine and that I'd lost it somewhere in all the clutter and dusty baseboards. But, as I spoke, I really took to heart the words I was saying. I hadn't actually realized until that moment that having a home I am proud of is one more piece of the femininity puzzle.
With my struggles with balance and a penchant for over-committing, I've noticed that my femininity is one of the first things to go out the window. I figure it's off traipsing through our mini-forest with my patience, leaving dark eye circles in exchange. My friends always describe me as a girly-girl, and I think it's so funny. I was brought up to be a tomboy, and for a while my favorite pre-date screening question was to see if I owned more power tools than the boy asking me out. (Usually? Yes.) So, while I do wear makeup and girly clothes and sparkly accessories, it doesn't often reflect how I feel.
But this weekend, I cleaned and I baked. Sans ruffly apron, but still. If you came over to my house right now, you'd find clean shiny surfaces, chocolate truffle cakes, scented candles, and most importantly - a contented me.